Losing Life.

To Maribel.

The first thing I would say to you if I got to see you again is tell you how much you’ve impacted the lives around me. If I got the opportunity to see you, to hold you, or to even just breathe in your space I’d let you know how much your positivity and energy surrounded the very room you come in. You fill the air with life and love and in the end here we are.

If I were to spend just one day sad about something i’m sure the first reaction would be finding something to do that would cheer me up. I’ve found myself thinking more and more about the very space you’ve gotten in my heart and the heart of those around us. I think back on my friend Michael and know that you’ve touched his heart the most. As a twin I know how hard it is to lose your other half, and as a friend I can never know how hard it is to lose a sister.

I think back on your life and all I want to remind myself is that nothing is guaranteed. Nothing in life is guaranteed and nothing in life is going to be handed to somebody. Maribel, you fought for your space. You fought for school, you maintained your academics and still supported the backing of a sisterhood that you found. You’re presence, and still lingering presence, reminds me that today of all days I should stick to what I say. I should honor my life, my body, my soul and the work that I imbue. I fall back on this idea that you knew how to live and knew how to love.

I’m lost at not knowing how to be myself and sadly, even as I know the solution I can’t seem to bring myself to it. I allow myself to stay in it for the sole process of us living together. Acknowledge this all. Acknowledge the lack of life you’re living.


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